I have an odd relationship with self-worth.

Everyone says we’re supposed to love ourselves. The problem with that, for me, is twofold:

1. I’m not the kind of person I would love. If I met someone else exactly like me, I don’t think I would love them.

2. Since I don’t hold myself in very high regard, I don’t hold my opinion in very high regard. If someone like me loved me, I wouldn’t care as much as if someone who I found admirable were to love me.

So the opinion isn’t true, and even if it was, I wouldn’t care.

My solution? I intend to become a person I would admire. I will work hard, set and achieve goals, change habits, and generally improve myself. I will become a person I would admire, then not only will I love the person I have become, I will be admirable enough in my own eyes to care that I love myself.

Yes, it’s roundabout, circular, and a little bit asenine, but it also makes an odd sort of sense. And being an odd sort of girl, that works for me.

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